02/23/2012
So today has been pretty uneventful. I thought I was going to take a friend out for her birthday, but that will have to wait.
Last night, I didn’t make any posts. It was just one of those days. I was tired. My sinuses felt they were going to explode, so my head hurt so badly, but I managed to make it to work.
Prior to my injury, I was able to put in a 80 hour week. I was a bit nuts by the end of a 16 hour shift, but I could do it. I was able to come home, crash, and get up and do it again 8 hours later.
I was doing that WHILE I was fighting APS, endometriosis, and the un-diagnosed Cushing’s Disease.
In other words, I’m not a slacker. I work hard. I always try.
Last night, I drove home after a four hour shift, and I wondered how am I going to be able to do this? My head felt like it was going to explode. My hands were so stiff and sore. It’s hard to move my fingers, and I didn’t spend any time typing except for the time at work. I’m facing huge challenges getting through four hours of work.
How will I survive as a doctor if it’s killing me to put in a four hour shift?
Even now, my fingers ache. My wrists hurt. The stiffness is difficult to deal with, and I have to wonder what’s going to happen next? Is this going to get better?
My medical back ground says: nothing gets better with age.
My hope says: there’s 60 year old’s running marathons. This is only temporary.
I guess that’s what we are left when we start to lose our health, fear of the unknown.
A dear friend of mine reminded me when I was first injured, focus on the positive; your mind is important in the healing process.
I know he’s right. There are so many inspirational stories of people that have faced great adversity and adapted and over came their challenges.
I always find it amazing as to how many people actually do this. The following is a popular true story of a girl who, despite amazing challenges, overcame 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePFKksD0XkQ&feature=related
I’m not a famous surfer, and I can’t even say I’m a famous anything..but I can relate to her message in her video.
I was put on a path to be a doctor, and after having this injury, I’ve spent a lot of time questioning if and how that will happen. I wonder if I’m going to be able to meet this goal. I wonder what my purpose is in life if it is not medicine.
I think these are the questions that a lot of people face daily in their struggles with money, health, employment, being a parent.
Those aren’t easy questions to answer, but I think if we continue to follow the path, despite obstacles that we face, we will persevere or will be directed to a new path that was meant for us.
Wouldn’t it be great if we had a crystal ball and could know with absolution what was going to happen next? Maybe it would take some of the fear and anxiety out of the surprises that we face, but I also think that it would take away the mystery.
If you are facing something that you believe you simply can’t overcome, then I encourage you to seek advice. I really recommend reaching others through online support groups. You will find so many magnificent people who are going through if not the same thing you are, something similar.
If you are struggling with a new, unforeseen obstacle, like CPM or EPM keep your head up. Your life isn’t over. You just have a new challenge to defeat 😉 and you don’t have to do it on your own.
Hyponatremia and Central Pontine Myelinolysis 